retreating

So, this week has been a little hectic getting back into the routine of things. Why?? Because last weekend I went on a retreat with my church. First off let me say that i have a love-hate relationship with retreats. I love them bc I get to get away and be with friends. I hate them because I am away and most of the time I'm around a lot more people that I don't know, than people I do know. So, when I initially said yes to go on this retreat I felt a little talked into it, but was excited and apprehensive all at once. Then as we got closer I began to dread it. Knowing all the prep I would need to do before leaving and then just the being gone and carpooling and all that jazz. Then it was as if the Lord heard me...bc then I asked a good friend if she was going, she hadn't decided...about a week before the retreat I asked her again and she made arrangements to go! YAY! And we were roomies! Then I was a little stressed out about the carpooling situation because I didn't want to leave as early as everyone else seemed to be leaving. I couldn't take my car because we only have one vehicle that car seats fit into. So then a friend from church just offered up her extra vehicle. YAY! So I drove my friend and I to Ridgecrest, which is just outside of Asheville. The theme was "On The Move" and our speakers were a mother/daughter team who are both missionaries. Let me just tell you that our church is part of the Christian and Missionary Alliance...so our primary focus is the great commission...so all of our speakers were missionary wives...and all of them were wonderful. Anyhow...all the sessions were fabulous and I had a few take away nuggets. The first being that the mom speaker was at least old enough to be my mom...she had been a missionary to Brazil for 30+ years and you could just tell she absolutely loves Jesus and LOVES the people she served all those years...she talked about life, following Jesus and how she still blows it almost daily in the areas of trust, obedience, her temper, etc. The normal every day things we all struggle with and the things I really get down on myself for! My take away...if this woman who has served the Lord twice as long as I have been alive and has been a missionary for more than half of her life, doesn't have it all together, then why on earth do I expect myself to have it all together? I am so hard on myself and really need to spend some time in deep meditation on the grace and mercy of God. My other take away is when she was talking about her father...and how growing up her dad considered the little conjunction "but" as back talking. He didn't want to hear it and there were consequences for using it. So when we say "but" to God, we are in actuality back talking the Lord of hosts. The Almighty. The one that the scriptures say "the hills melt like wax at the presence of the Lord." The one who opened the ground and something like 600+ sons of Kora fell in and died bc of their disobedience. And the one who poured his wrath out on Jesus so he didn't have to pour it out on us. WHOA! Zip my lip!!!!! When God asks me for my attitude, I can't say "but that person made me mad." When God asks me for my time, I can't say "but I have so many other pressing things to do." When God asks me for my mornings before the rest of the fam is up, I can't say "but I'm tired." I mean I CAN say them, and I DO say it...but not without consequences. So, I don't give Him my attitude and I wallow in my anger and feel pain in my body and lose sleep. So I get my to do list done, but not usually without bitterness. I sleep in an extra 30-45 minutes but then have trouble seeing God in the dailyness of life. I wouldn't say I learned a whole lot...but what I did learn was great! I also learned that I can trust my husband to respect the schedule and keep the girls on it. I knew he could do it before I left, but I didn't know if he would do it. He had all the dishes done before I got home, the girls were happy and Delia even had pigtails for church that morning. Amazing! I also learned that it is fun to interact with new people for an entire weekend and I laughed alot. Would I do it again...heck yes! One of the best parts is that a widow who has been on my heart for months was on the retreat, I got to interact with her just a little bit so she knows who I am and I invited her over for Easter dinner and she said yes! This retreat was totally totally worth it! God is good. All the time!